Divorced couples urged to draft Christmas agreement
Categories: News
Recently separated couples have been advised to plan the arrangements in respect of where their children will spend Christmas to avoid any hostilities and upset.
Angie Parker, ORJ’s Head of Family, said festive arrangements can often prove to be a flashpoint either during a divorce or in the immediate aftermath.
Angie, who has almost 20 years of experience as a family solicitor, urged parents to find a mutually acceptable agreement – and to write it down – for the benefit of the children.
“Divorce can cause all sorts of emotions – and Christmas can often be a tumultuous time when children are involved,” she said.
“It is too late to issue court proceedings over Christmas contact, so my advice would be to use this time now to prepare a written plan of what will happen over those important days.
“The children’s interests should always come first. The Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (Cafcass) has a very useful Parenting Plan that might help with discussions.
“A Parenting Plan shows clearly what arrangements and actions you have agreed to meet the needs of your child, not just at Christmas but right throughout the year.
“Depending on the age and maturity of the children, it might also be wise to give the children at least some say in the arrangements.”
In family law, there is no stipulation that one parent has priority over the other to see their child on Christmas Day – regardless of how much contact the child has with each party on a day-to-day basis. As a starting point, the child has a right to see both parents on special days.
Angie said there are various ways that separated parents can work together to effectively split the time.
She said: “Possible arrangements vary from family to family. Some families decide to split Christmas Day in half, enabling the children to see both parents, others opt for a Christmas Day and Boxing Day split, which creates the feeling of celebrating two Christmases.
“Some separated parents feel it is possible to spend the day together with the children, but this only works if the relationship is still amicable.
“Other families decide to alternate who has the kids with them on a year-by-year basis.
“Whatever you decide, be prepared to compromise and once agreed then stick to those arrangements. Try to talk about your expectations, such as how many presents the children receive from each parent, so that everyone is comfortable with the celebrations.
“Think also about the extended family, particularly grandparents who will likely want to see the children at Christmas and, if you aren’t going to see the children on Christmas Day, try not to spend it alone.”
Angie said if the relationship is so strained that sensible discussions over Christmas are impossible, a family lawyer or a mediator can be used as a go-between to find a solution.Contact Angie by emailing Angie.Parker@orj.co.uk or calling 01785 223440.